Neuroscience Says Empathy Boosts Performance. Your Nan Just Called It Manners.

BY: Paul Sinclair | May 18, 2025

This is part of a series of reflections by Paul Sinclair, one of the managing directors of Mind Matters. Drawing on his experience in high-pressure environments and his training with Dr Gabor Maté, Paul writes with unflinching honesty about the patterns he sees in his work with clients and in his own life. In this piece, he explores how psychedelics (especially psilocybin) may offer hope for those struggling with anxiety.

People do not thrive because of strategy decks. They thrive because someone looks them in the eye and means it when they ask, “How are you really?”

We have got the research now. But truthfully, we always had the wisdom. We just chose to forget it.

We are deep in the era of “brain science meets business.” Every week, there’s a new post telling us that when we look people in the eye and actually listen to them, their brains light up with oxytocin. Groundbreaking stuff. Science has finally caught up with what your nan knew all along: people like being treated with basic decency.

But here we are, watching companies fall over themselves to prove they understand humans. Cue another rebrand of empathy as a “performance driver,” and another initiative that teaches managers how to say “how are you” without breaking into a cold sweat.

Connection matters. Psychological safety matters. People do their best work when they feel seen and supported and when their nervous system is not in a permanent fight-or-flight loop. But we have turned being human into a performance metric somewhere along the line.

Hacking the Human Experience

Now we are gamifying emotions. We are using neuroscience to back up things we should already know. Trust is not new. Neither is care. But we have become so obsessed with data that we need a brain scan to validate basic decency.

Want retention? Want performance? Want innovation? Try not treating your team like machines with inboxes and personal trauma. Try not assuming flexibility is a perk when it is just a normal part of being alive in 2025.

There is no app that replaces a manager who actually listens. There is no framework that makes up for a culture that does not care. And no amount of oxytocin released from a forced team building exercise is going to undo months of pressure, silence and invisible expectations.

Psychological Safety is Not a Buzzword.

Psychological safety is now everywhere. It is in every keynote and company vision. But what is it actually?

It is not a ping pong table. It is not a Friday check-in. It is not the ability to speak up in a meeting without being talked over. It is the entire atmosphere people breathe in every day at work. It is whether they feel like they can be honest without risking their job. It is whether they are trusted enough to push back. It is whether their mistakes are treated like part of growth or reasons to be sidelined.

You cannot fake safety. You either create it or you don’t.

Empathy is not a strategy.

We keep dressing empathy up in language that makes it sound like a quarterly goal: people know the difference between being genuinely seen and being managed with soft skills.

Empathy is not a leadership tactic. It is a human quality. It cannot be rolled out via e-learning. And it should not need an ROI argument to matter.

Instead of trying to monetise kindness, maybe just try being kind.

Real Connection is Inconvenient.

It is the part no one puts in the leadership books. Real connection takes time. It requires presence. It means you have to stop what you are doing and look someone in the eye, and listen. It means holding space for someone else’s pain even when a deadline ticks in the background.

It does not scale. It does not fit neatly into strategy decks. But it is the thing people remember. Years from now, they will not remember the Q3 wins. They will remember who showed up when things got hard.

Culture is Built in the Gaps.

Forget your values poster. Forget the mission statement. Culture is not what you say it is. It is how people feel at 4 pm on a Wednesday when they are behind and tired. It is how they are spoken to after a mistake. It is what happens when no one is looking.

That is where the real work is. Not in the off-sites or the strategy sessions. But in everyday moments, people either feel like they matter or don’t.

Flexibility is the Floor, Not the Ceiling.

Stop pretending that offering flexible working is a revolutionary act. It is not a perk. It is the bare minimum. If the last few years have taught us anything, people are not cogs in a system. They have lives. They have kids, parents, off days, anxiety, hormones, school runs and sick dogs.

Designing a workaround for life is not weak. It is smart. And if your business model depends on people burning out to make the numbers work, the problem is not them.

The Problem With Performing Humanity.

The irony. We are now performing humanity. We are doing all the right things, just on paper. We are using the right words. We are hiring the DEI consultants to build the mental health programmes. But people can still feel it when it is not real.

You cannot fake care. You cannot script presence. You cannot checklist your way into culture. Because connection is not a tactic. It is the truth, or it is nothing.

So What Actually Works?

Be real. Listen properly. Make room for the mess. Hire leaders who are not afraid of emotions. Build systems that do not punish honesty. Stop using neuroscience to prove what your gut already knows.

And remember: people do not leave jobs. They leave environments that make them feel small. They leave managers who only know how to lead from a spreadsheet. They leave when the cost of being there outweighs the benefit of the pay.

The future of work is not data-driven. It is not AI-powered. It is not empathy-branded.

It is human

Disclaimer:
The content provided in this article series by Mind Matters is for informational and educational purposes only and does not substitute professional medical advice or consultation with healthcare professionals. If you are seeking medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, we advise you to consult a licensed medical professional or healthcare provider. Psychedelic-assisted therapy is not legalised in Malta; therefore, our services in Malta focus solely on preparation and integration. We do facilitate psychedelic-assisted therapy in collaboration with licensed therapists in jurisdictions where it is legal. We do not provide or facilitate the use of illegal substances. Please check the legal status of psychedelic substances in your jurisdiction, as legal frameworks are continuously evolving.

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Author Profile
Paul Sinclair

Paul, Managing Director at Mind Matters, specialises in mental health, trauma, and psychedelic-assisted therapy. He has trained under Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned expert in trauma and addiction, and has also undergone extensive training in psychedelic-assisted therapy. Paul's diverse background as an elite military unit member, top athlete, and successful entrepreneur informs his unique approach to transforming ingrained patterns of thought and behaviour. He has trained thousands of individuals, and over 20,000 development and mental health professionals follow his teachings on LinkedIn. Paul believes in the power of resilience and personal transformation, drawing from his journey to inspire and guide his clients.

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